Puppies!

I knew this would happen eventually.

When I first discovered BDSM, thanks to the Yahoo! Instant Messenger user chats when I was about 14, the thing that really got me into it was pet play. I was young and had some self esteem issues, and chatting and being someone's cute little puppy was something that really really worked for me.

I would wag my tail and curl up at their feet, and they'd talk about what a cute little thing I was, and reward me for being so cute, and for being a good puppy and doing as I was told.

In my young mind, having been rejected by people so much throughout school and what have you, this was amazing. All I had to do was be a good boy, and I could get that special attention that I never had before. 

I had kind of forgotten about all of that until a few months ago, when I was cruising around on hypnochan looking for things to listen to while being a naughty boy. I downloaded a few files, by a user named "Vive", just looking for something that would get me going. One of the files...it's called a masturbation loop. I guess you're just supposed to listen to it while you're cranking it and it either helps to get you off, or the supposed subliminals in it get inside your head and change you.

Either way, it's about becoming a dog. There are dogs barking in the background and a woman's voice, talking to you about how you've chosen to become a dog, and how you love being a dog. You're finding it harder to understand what she's saying and focusing on the dogs barking. Eventually, she says you can't understand at all because dogs do not understand English. She tells you with every stroke of your sex, you're becoming more doglike. More confused, more aroused, no hands- paws stroking you, etc.

Then last night I was on Omegle and decided that I'd play as a pup, so I put some things in my settings regarding petplay, and eventually I was matched with someone who was also interested in "pup". I introduced myself as a 23 year old puppy who was locked in chastity and the woman I was speaking with seemed very interested. As the conversation continued I was definitely in puppy mode and was emoting things that I would have been doing had she been there, and I kept getting all of the "oh you are just TOO cute!" type of responses...which....because I'm a little attention whore, drove me wild.

In the scene we were playing out she was teasing me mercilessly, to the point where I was begging her to stop, because she knew I didn't have a key, and even when I was "at my breaking point" she told me how she'd love to stop but I was "just so cute" lying there wriggling around and humping the air with my little puppy cock.

I had really forgotten how much I loved puppy play. The more I think about it....I want it more and more. I want to get pierced, so my cage is 100% secure. I want to be a good little horny frustrated puppy for my Mommy. I've mentioned puppy play to her in passing and she's actually kind of referred to it before, and loves the thought of me sleeping at the foot of the bed or on the floor next to her like a good puppy........I want to be so horny, and frustrated, and completely powerless and helpless because my poor little puppy paws couldn't even grab onto my little frustrated puppy cock even if I was allowed out of my little metal prison.

Don't even get me started on how it would feel to be allowed to "masturbate" for her. Puppies can't use their hands, that's for sure. Maybe she'd keep me locked up until I could make myself come from humping her leg, or foot, or a little pillow. I know she'd get a kick out of that, she loves to watch me squirm.....and making it so that I had to come like a little puppy would drive us both wild.

We're going to have to talk about this some more...definitely.

Soooo

On a scale of 1-10, the other night was a 10 for sure.

But yesterday was a fucking hoverboard.

Yes you read that correctly. On a school of 1-10, yesterday was a Hoverboard.

This post requires me to take you back nearly two years.

We had celebrated our fourth anniversary, and I had given myself to her. She had given me a CB6000 for my birthday, and I had found out that a girl I worked with was also very kinky. We decided that it would be okay for to know about everything, and if anything, she could keep tabs on me when I was at work and report back if I did anything punish worthy.

The girl was gorgeous, and very sexually liberal (obviously.) She didn't wear panties most of the time, (she had informed me) and thought I was apparently cute enough.

Obviously, the very first thing my mind went to was her blackmailing me into eating her out in the storage area, and I came to find out that that had crossed her mind quite a few times as well.

So here's the thing. Goddess/Mommy (I need to get a better name to refer to her with on the blog. It's hard keeping up with it, because she does enjoy the Mommy dynamic, just as long as I'm not pushing it all the goddamn time.) and I had always been very open with each other, and as of today we have a fairly open relationship. This was two years ago though.

When we talked about our fantasies, and things like threesomes, she told me how much she loved the idea of me cheating. Not "cheating" cheating, like going out on dates and falling in love with someone, but just me going and fucking some girl and not okaying it with her first.

So here I go, I'm going to make a ballsy move. The girl at work, we'll call her "N", was having some boyfriend drama and was showing interest in me. We had texted, she had sent me some pictures of herself, and even sent me a nice little voice message where she talked all dirty and berated me a little bit. I got out of class one evening and we were texting and it came up. I invited her over and she was there at my house (well, my parents') a few minutes later.

N was well aware of our situation, save the fact the Goddess would be okay with it.  In fact, I had tried to explain to N about the situation, but she thought that there was some bad blood between her and Goddess for some odd reason, and wanted it to be in secret. I think she said that if she knew the other person knew about it, it would make her feel all bad and guilty or something. Either way, it happened.

She was very dominant. She came over and we laid in my bed talking about work and other bullshit until  I kissed her. We started making out and eventually I felt the need to come clean to her about how I had masturbated the night before without permission. She had been texting me, and we had talked about how I was supposed to ask. I told her (as I had told Goddess...leaving out what I had masturbated over) that I had jacked off without permission to the pictures she sent me the night before.

She chastised me and then told me to take it out and start touching myself like I had done when I was looking at her pictures, and I did as I was told. She was telling me all sorts of things and eventually made her way down and started sucking my cock. Oh my god she could suck cock. Fuck, she could suck cock. She came up and made me lay across the bed, and straddled my face. She ground herself into me while she continued to suck my cock until she came. I don't think she let me...I can't remember.

We hung out one other time but she was a bit more....distant? I dunno. We watched a horror movie and I sat down on the floor in front of her while she was up on the couch. She wasn't wearing any shorts or panties but wouldn't let me touch her, or worship her pussy or anything. Just sat there at her feet.

I had every intention of telling Goddess while it was going on, but after I had done it.....I felt guilty, and I was very scared that she wouldn't react well.


also, Goddess thought N was pretty hot, and probably would have had hot nasty lesbian scissor sex with her if given the chance.

                                                       Scissor me, Xerxes!

Now Jump back to last night:
We are lying in bed and Goddess is talking about how she feels bad for wanting to other people sometimes, even though we have an "open" relationship. I ask her why and she tells me it's because of me and my hesitations about her doing things with other guys.

I had to explain to her that it was something that I very much wanted, but I am the type of person who needs a push sometimes. I am the type of person who will go to a water park, and be completely stoked about the slide until I get to the top and sit down and go "Oh shit. Oh christ." and sometimes I need someone to hold my hand and help me with those things.

We continue talking about our relationship and things and she brings up me doing things with other girls. Now I know I am allowed to play with other guys, but I have never felt truly comfortable about fucking other girls/telling her. She asks if I would and I said "yes, if you were okay with it." to which she responded along the lines of "fuck, I wish you would."

The conversation went something like this.

"really?"

"well yeah, I've told you that over and over."

"well....uh...I have to tell you something."

"okay....what?"

"I......I.....did stuff with N"

"oh okay, you're just saying that to make me horny so I'll fuck you"

"No! I really did!"

I told her everything that happened, and I was pretty scared she'd be pissed......

but she fucked my brains out and I even got to come. That was after the spanking I got for keeping it from her for two years. I was made to promise (while being flogged with the least painful of our whips/paddles) that I would NEVER keep something like that from her again, and I did, very willingly.


Like.....

I don't even know what to say, really. I was scared that it was all talk, and it took a lot for me to tell her. I do feel bad for lying, so that's NOT gonna happen again.


so that's how awesome my life really is. I swear to god I am living in a porno or something.

december 15th, 2010

15 followers? On the 15th?

spoooooky!



not much going on today. Mommy's been kind of sick (super lucky I got let out last night) so we've been taking it easy, and I have a final in about a half hour for one of my classes and then I'm done! :D

Oh, anybody from fetlife, remember to ask kinky santa for presents! They're giving away over $15,000 worth of toys from all of their advertisers and supporters to all of us!




update!

Mommy and I went out to eat (courtesy of her Mom) to celebrate our finals being done. On the way back home she said she needed to run an errand and that I should run upstairs and get the cash for her, and she would go. I jokingly asked if she wanted me to be naked and blindfolded when she got home and to my surprise she said "Yes."

I ran upstairs and got her the money, then ran back upstairs to get ready. I wasn't totally naked because it was collllllld, but I put on my collar, buckled on my ballgag, and slipped on one of our cuffs, before lowering the blindfold down and then velcro the other cuff around my wrist.

I laid there for what seemed like an hour. Every car I heard pass by was hers, and my heart would go aflutter. Finally I heard the distinctive sound of HER car and I knew for sure that she was here...I could hear the stairs outside of our apartment doing their usual creak, creaking as she made her way up and unlocked the door.

She walked into the bedroom and gave me an "awwwwwwwwww" and then commented on how good of a boy I was being, and how I even had my collar on. Mommy laid down next to me and started running her hands over my legs, commenting on the smoothness (although she has previously said that she doesn't like it very much and would rather have me not shave my legs) and kissing my cheek.

I asked......well, mumbled...through the gag for her to please take off my cage she asked me what I was saying, giggling. It was pretty obvious she know but I repeated myself "wiww oo peease tage off muh caye mo-my?"

She smiled and removed it slowly, and started touching my (at this time) cock. At this point we noticed I was a bit chaffed, but not near enough to make me want to ask her to slow her advances. I was huffing and puffing and she smiled and leaned forward and unbuckled the ballgag. My jaw felt so weird, I don't think I'd ever worn it for that long before. Mommy started stroking me, and I was already getting all drippy. She made sure to comment on that, and then she leaned in really close and said "I hope you don't think you're going to cum tonight, because after I get done teasing you, you're going back in your cage."


I whimpered softly.

She straddled me, and I started grinding against her, trying to feel her against me....

I asked her if she would please fuck me and she said "no."

I asked "Why?"

"because you have a little bitty boy cock, and Mommy's pussy is only for real men with real big cocks."

"y...yes Ma'am....."

the grinding and straddling continued, and I decided that It was time to maybe dig my own grave a bit.

I asked her sheepishly "d....don't you think it's unfair to all those....those....men...with big ....cocks...that you're comparing me to them?...sh...shouldn't we...maybe call it something else....?"

"oh....you mean like....hmmmm..what was it you called it the other day? a cocklet?"

"y....yes Ma'am.....do....do you like...that....word?"

Mommy smiled at me and said yes, that she did like it, very much.

I then started to dig my grave a little more and told her about some of the rules I had read for boys from a Master on lockedm4m (and actually on blogger too) I said "you know that Master I was talking about who has all those boys?"

"yes"

"well he said that uhm...for boys...sex is totally passive. They don't have uhm...cocks...so they don't get to fuck...they get fucked......e....e...even w...with uhm...other boys..they don't get to touch or anything like a real man would either....."

"hmmm. so if I let you go play with another boy, you should be locked up, hmmm?"

"o....only if you wanted me to be......oh...and uhm...he says...for his boys....that they're only allowed to ....uhm....make boycums...if they have something in their....boyhole...."

this continued, and Mommy asked me if I wanted to be like one of those boys. I nodded softly, and hid my face because I was super embarrassed. We snuggled some more and Mommy let me grind against her soft legs, but could tell I was getting too excited and pushed me off, telling me to calm down.

we laid together, talking about how her boy's life may change in the near future. We talked about things that we may do....I asked her if she really meant all that stuff she said earlier, and she asked "What stuff?"

"you know...about my uh....cocklet...and not being allowed to fuck you and sttuff anymore....."

"well of course, babyboy! you might get to feel Mommy's pussy if you're a VERY VERY good boy and I just REALLY want you to fuck me..."

I gulped nervously in my head, but my cocklet was saying otherwise (even writing this right now has got me all excited and probably drippy again). then she sat up and said "well I really have some stuff to do..." and got up to get dressed.

the chaffing is a little worse than I thought, but it's only two small spot on the underside of my shaft. I told Mommy that if she wanted I could just wear the hard plastic cage and it wouldn't be as bad on the chafing. I think it was a combo of having shaved the other day and getting a bump or two on the shaft of my cocklet, and having not lubed enough while in the cage. Lube/lotion/etc is VERY important when you're a locked boy! Mommy's letting me have the night free, as long as I promise to be a good boy, which I did. I love her so much, I'm the luckiest boy in the whole wide world!

soooooo, that was my day! how was yours!?

december 9th, 2010. A milestone.

this is my second/third day in chastity. well second day, third night if that makes sense.

apparently not being able to get any erection at all is a lot more sexually frustrating than if you were allowed a partial one. I get excited, the silicon gets tight and that makes me more excited. I feel as giddy as a schoolgirl.
(also, on a side note. Mommy went to a party like last year where some girl was ending her time as a surprise party holder, and everything was half off. we have a lot of toys, but I never could use them)
Mommy is in class right now and about a half hour ago I asked if I could play with some toys, and she said Yes. Playing with toys is still masturbating, even if I'm locked up so I have to ask.

here's something you should know. I'm a butt virgin. Never been with a guy who was a top, never been able to fuck myself with toys except for my prostate massager. I even have a small jelly plug(not exactly mine, but close) that I've tried to use before, but if I go a while without using it, it hurts. In other words, my ass is tight.

I decided that today was the day. I was so fucking horny, and still feeling super girly from taking all those pictures and wearing those G String panties all day yesterday. So I asked Mommy really nicely, and then went and found the Silky Stud. He's cute, not too big, and he's curved juuuuuuust right.

I threw a towel down on the bed and laid myself down. I lubed myself up with some H20 JO and slowly starting pushing the Stud against me. MMMMM he felt so big. I knew it wasn't going to slide right in, so I relaxed myself, opened up a bit and got the tip of the head in......I had to push my weight against myself to push the rest of him in and oooooooh he was hurting me, but it felt great and I kept on going. Slowly but surely, I got most of him inside me....I could feel it in my tummy, and in my caged cock....the tingles, like when my prostate was getting hit, but I knew it wasn't.  I knew if I was unlocked I'd be so hard, and dripping wet right now. Now is where it gets interesting. The stud is inside me, hurting a little but feeling great a lot. I slide my hand down and turn the base and he starts vibrating inside me, sending pleasure all throughout my body. It was as if every single nerve in my body had been moved to my little boy hole, and I was in heaven. I think the neighbors may have heard me (but now that I think about it, they're all at work) but I didn't care. I was moaning and writhing, and started moving him back and forth slowly...letting myself relax even more around his thickness.

this is when The Stud started to fuck me. I could tell I was relaxed, and he started sliding in and out of my wet little hole, using it like the fucktoy it is. He felt so good. His cock has got these ribs all around it, and feeling him penetrating me over and over and over again felt absolutely amazing. I'm pretty sure if anyone was outside my apartment they would have thought that same strange woman had broken in and henceforth proceeded to get fucked, because I was moaning and acting like such a girl I think. Feeling the cock inside me, looking down and seeing that I don't even have a cock (at the moment).....only pink...feminine.....definitely not the big masculine guy I am in my outward appearance. I turned and laid on my side, and he started fucking me harder..I could feel my caged cock....the feeling you only get when you're being penetrated, or having your prostate hit....the tingling, the movement...the oh gods inside my urethra making me go insane.

That's when the stud pulled me off of the bed and took me into the shower...I was pinned up against the wall, my caged parts hanging there exposed while he fucked me as hard as I could take it. I could feel the warm water splashing against me as he entered me over and over again and I was going nuts......

the Stud must have had his fun, because he left and I was in the shower alone, washing up.

I had never been able to take anything more than my prostate massager without physical pain before, but today the stud made me his little bitch, and I can't wait for our next date. xoxo.

december 8th 2010 again!

yay I have a new subscriber!

thanks for reading Panda's Property!

just a quick update for everyone, the birdlocked mini is really really emasculating, even more than the 6000. First off you're not even allowed the partial erection you got before, and in my case...this one is pink.

so, I give you some pictures and hope you like them.

I'd like to make this a regular thing, and posted some before, but I don't think I ever got any feedback, so......any is appreciated.

                                                                Earlier today, feeling girly

And Later after my shower, feeling more Girly than before. Mommy loves these panties.

wednesday

so Wednesday was my....I'm losing track now! let's see.

Second day in chastity, third day without an orgasm.

I was in class and felt that maybe the cage had shifted, so I skipped to the bathroom and got in one of the stalls to see what was up.

Everything was fine, but I noticed that I had a bit of precum just out of nowhere. It was really weird, I wasn't even horny, lol. At least I thought I wasn't horny.

so now we're hitting that midweek point and pretty much everything excites me.
I've gone from being the type of guy who masturbates twice, maybe three times a day to having to wait until someone has decided I deserve an orgasm. I think my penis has realized this and is maybe trying to do the begging for me. :D

so sunday was awesome.

just now getting a chance to type it up.



We were house sitting, and Mommy was having to leave to do stuff with her family on sunday morning. She was already dressed when I woke up and had some awesome morning wood going. I asked her if I could be naughty and she said yes. Then, pushing my luck, I asked if I could see her beautiful ass.

here's something you need to know if I haven't pointed it out already. I am an ass freak. Some might go so far as to call me an ass bandit, lol.  Mommy has got, the most amazing ass ever. The only girl who I've ever seen that rivals this big juicy piece of art is that porn star Daphne Rosen. (who does BDSM stuff as well. fucking nice stuff)

so, recounting. I <3 big asses, and Mommy has a big perfect ass.

She pulled her pants and panties down in one motion, and I was laying on the bed on my back with my head hanging at the end of the bed, face up. She slowly backed up onto my face and took a seat. I. Was. In. Heaven.

there's something about having someone control things that is just so arousing. Add to that the fact that she's not only controlling my orgasm and allowing me to have one, but she's controlling the most basic of all functions, my breathing. It seems that your penis realizes that your lungs aren't getting oxygen, and somehow thinks it can compensate by becoming even more erect that it already is. Just when you think you're not going to make it, she lifts up as if she is perfectly tuned into your brain, and you gasp for air only to be smothered once more.....After three or four times, I can't take it. She coos something to me that....I don't even know what it was, but hearing her voice made me explode. It was amazing.

she tells me what a good boy I am, runs her hands though my hair and kisses my forehead as I lay there in what the french would call le petite mort. Post orgasm ecstacy.


It's tuesday now, and I went back into the cage monday night. Two days since an orgasm, and one locked up.

-Much love and precum!

(I was going to start using that and totally forgot about it.)

No release yesterday...

I had gone to a friend's house and done some stuff over there, then we all came over to the house and Mommy made us all dinner. It was awesome. Best Dinner Ever.

The friends left and I hit the hay because for some reason this daylight savings time stuff always fucks with me.

keeping my fingers crossed that maybe today I'll get some, lol.

3 days in chastity and.....four(?) without an orgasm so far?

I was thinking the other day of trying to do a month for her, and start it right around the 24th of November...But I really don't know if I can do it. I mean, I lost my mind after six days before. Plus, we'd have to deal with nocturnal emissions, but that would give us a great reason to explore prostate milking together.


just a little edit here:

it used to be that I could call or text, and ask very very nicely and be allowed to come. Even if I was locked in chastity, if I called and asked permission, she would normally allow me an orgasm.


evidently that's changed, as I was literally begging through some text messages earlier and was told no over and over again.

*gulps*

another lovely day in chastity.

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blog-o numero three-o

sooo.

after the movies last night, Mommy and I were hanging out and she said that she wanted to go swimming, so we changed and went down to the hot tub and swam around. It was nice because we were the only two people there, and got to have some nice intimate conversation.

I had just joined a group on fetlife about domestic discipline, and was telling her about it and eventually the conversation turned towards the psychology of negative punishment versus Negative/positive reinforcement. (mommy is a psych major so she knows all this stuff) Then the conversation turned (thanks to me) on certain behaviors that I have that she would want to change, and then I brought up the idea of her maybe creating a set of house rules that I would need to follow on a day to day basis. (even though I'm not a slave, I still like the idea) I'm super excited, and uhm......yeah. I can tell that things are changing and going to be different from now on. Yay!

Awesome day so far!

So Mommy and Me (I'm just going to refer to her as Mommy from now on. We don't really do ABDL stuff, but ageplay is always fun, and that way you guys know who I'm talking about.) just went and saw dinner for schmucks. You might think that this movie was just going to be a mediocre Steve Carrell/Paul Rudd buddy comedy;

It was awesome, haven't laughed that hard since the hangover. I don't want to give anything away, but Steve Carrel and Zach Galifianakis were hilarious. (I've liked Zach ever since I saw his comedy central presents special many years ago, so I'm glad he's getting good movie roles.) Plus, the theater was selling old used movie posters for a buck a piece, so we got like 8. :D


now, we're going to go play racquetball, and then maybe have some of the leftover dinner that I made last night. (I cooked up some cheeses tortellini in meat sauce and then turned out the lights in the kitchen and lit a candle just to be cheesy. It was delish.)

I've noticed that when I put on the birdlocked in the shower (sans lubrication) that these are the nights I end up waking up in pain because of some weird night time erection related issue. too much of my penis is forward, and sticks out of the vent holes, or I get smushed or something. going to just not put it on in the shower anymore and use a little bit of the silicone based lube that we have. so as it stands right now, I'm unlocked, haven't cum in....three days (?) and will be going back into the cage after I shower when we get back. Maybe I'll have something to blog about tonight if I'm lucky. :P