Wednesday, June 8, 2011

well phooey

She has been working a job through a temp agency that has her closer to our parents than us, and has been staying there.

I locked myself up over the weekend and asked yesterday if I could be naughty, and she gave me the OK.

:/ Something is just off about it. I'm trying to act more submissive, and wear my collar more, and all of that stuff and then getting to jack off in retrospect is just kinda...meh.

I mean, don't get me wrong I love jacking off, and in the moment of it it was pretty damn good. I came buckets. It just seems odd to me that we play with chastity and then I'm allowed to ask to jack off and more often than not I get the go ahead. (probably because I don't ask that much, I don't know....I think maybe hearing me ask for it gets her all hot so she says yes.)

I just don't know what is up. Maybe I'm just stressed because I've been doing summer school for about a week and she's been gone.

More talk of the Jailbird has been brought up, and we are going to see what finances are like now that she is temping, and hopefully for my birthday in August I can get one. Not really sure if it's going to happen because we are going to a concert (tickets bought for her birthday) that is a bit of a drive this weekend, and pretty much all of our extra cushion in the finances is going towards that.

I've been logging into SL again as well. Things change so quickly online, it's crazy. You go on a hiatus for a while and people begin to move on. My Daddy has kind of moved on, which is fine because it probably was time for us to seek other ventures. I just feel kinda bad because it's one of those things where I kinda disappeared and he knew I was still around (we're facebook friends as well) but obviously knew I wasn't going to log in anytime soon...I just feel weird about that too I guess.

I just feel off. I guess I'm in a funk.


  1. Sorry to hear things aren't going the best right now! Is she in control of what you were allowed to jack off to? That may help. You might also want to talk to her about why it is that she seems to give you permission to unlock so often. It might be, like you mentioned, as simple as you needing to ask her more often. If she feels like you only ask when you really need to, then she might not be comfortable denying you. Just a thought =)

  2. It's the chastity paradox. You're supposed to want to release but not be allowed to. Then when you do get to release, you feel like it was too easy. Such a vicious cycle with no true end game. I'm thinking of writing about that same subject.

  3. Yeah it's not so much that I don't like masturbating, it's just that doing stuff like that without her has kinda lost it's luster. I love being praised and the like while I'm masturbating for her, and just jacking off doesn't really compare.